Saturday, March 7, 2009

today was a beautiful day.

my old friend & i made up(the one whom the letter was written to in my last post).

i was acting in a friend's short film in rittenhouse square today when i saw gerard butler today and i told him i loved him and he waved and smiled at me. i can't believe i made eye contact with gerard butler. he's even more gorgeous in person, by the way.


i'm sorta seeing someone but i'm not sure if i like him. i'm more of a man than he is, i think. what sucks is that i have a strong personality, but the guys that are usually attracted to me don't & prefer me to be in charge...it seems like it should work (simple role reversal, really), but in reality i want someone who knows how to be strong enough with me to overpower me. i want to be fragile sometimes, dammit!

i don't know if i believe in love at first sight, but i met someone really amazing today and something just drew me to him and i can't explain it but i feel like were he not nearly 8 years older than me, we would be on a date as i write this. i think i want to write to him and say something like "here is my number. call it in two years." i wonder if he'd like that. i bet he'd appreciate that i was mature enough to know i'm not mature enough to be seeing him.

the weather was so perfect today i wish it would stay liek this forever. it made me unbelievably happy and i just felt so free and full of life. so please good weather, come back soon, for without you i am a mess.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

happiness & frank o'hara.

i'm happy. and it feels strange. but good, of course.
appareetly i'm good at writing letters. especially apology letters. which is weird, but i guess it's a good skill to have. so, i broke off a friendship last year, and i miss it now. so here's the letter i wrote to the person just now. my attempt to make amends:

hey ----.
it's me....
i know. i suck. but things were shittier then.
i hope you're doing well. i mean that, too.
did you apply to kenyon? are you still writing? please send me something if you are. i'd love to see it. if you're not writing i am mentally smacking you, because you have tons of talent and i hope you're not letting it go to waste.
i just realized how much i missed being friends with you, because life was so hectic for a while and now it slowed down and i was able to sort things out.
i'm sorry. i really really am. i was cruel, i know that. it was just hard for me to take much of anything from anyone. but i've reached a balance and i hope we can be ok.
write back.
love, soph.


also, everyone should watch this. it's one of my all-time favorite poems:

Sunday, March 1, 2009


i'm not sure what was going on but it looks like good memory, doesn't it? (CTY princeton '07)