Sunday, April 19, 2009

the peacock aa jeans = amazing. i think i'll wear them to the lady sovereign concert i'm going to on may 7th! can't wait!

prom was friday night, so here's a picture of the girls & favorite picture of the day:

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

of pants and men.

i have always wanted the peacock mineral wash jeans from american apparel. they are my absolute favorite thing but since they're a tad expensive, my mom said she would get them for me only when and if i lost weight. so today, strangely enough, my mom randomly complimented me and told me i had the best butt ever. so, of course, i used the opportunity to ask for the pants, by saying that since my butt's so great i should totally get the jeans. and they have just been ordered. sah-weet.

on a totally separate note, today a good guy frined of mine actually told me "soph, you're way too hot for the friend zone so get the fuck outta there." and i realized how totally right he is! i mean, i'm not saying i think i'm hot, but i definitely am a guys' girl and get along with guys really well. so although i would like to keep my guy friends, i think i need to "the the fuck outta there" and finally land a boy.

random photo from russia: "opinions & trash"

Monday, April 6, 2009

simplicity & crookedness.

taste: cheesecake + green tea
sound: "black river" - amos lee (he is the fucking man. and SO good live.)
smell: rain (i like how rain makes the earth smell)

i know i'm not a fashion poster, but i just bought a few things from american apparel, and i'm excited. so first off, i got the basic hoodie in "sunshine," which i feel like is a wonderful color for clothing. wearing yellow makes me feel happier.
i also got the classic v-necks in white & asphalt. a friend of mine said to me once, "i think all beautiful people should wear simple clothing." that stuck with me. i think simple clothing does work wonders, though. it brings out lots of beautiful things that often go unnoticed due to flashy clothes/accessories.
*random note: if you've ever heard of the british store "accessorize," you might think this is funny...but in russia they have it too, except everyone pronounces it as if it were french so it sounds more like "accessorizay" (i don't know how to type accents on here.)

so, speaking of beauty...i've been told that symmetry plays a big role in the notion of beauty. "symmetry has been scientifically proven to be inherently attractive to the human eye. it has been defined not with proportions, but rather with similarity between the left and right sides of the face." i've noticed, however, that i really enjoy the little flaws in people i like. for example, i found that one of the things i liked a lot about a guy i used to know is that his eyes weren't exactly the same and one of them was noticeably smaller when he smiled. it sounds unattractive, but that was something i thought was really cute. i wonder what that says about me as a person, and whether it means i'm some sort of emotional cripple, haha. i mean, i most likely would not be attracted to someone who was missing an eye, or had half of his face blown off, but i think a little crooked-ness is sexy.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

"untitled." on purpose.


Why are you in love with me? you ask
as the train weaves through the forest.
I just am. I don’t know. Quit asking.

It’s possible that it’s the way
you sometimes laugh to yourself
when you’re reading about medieval history.

I guess it’s that i don’t mind
laying with you when you’re soaked with rain
because you have too much faith in the weather
and our dryer is broken.

Maybe my love for you lies in the way
you tie your shoelaces,
but i can’t say for certain.

It could be how you swallow me with your silence
when i want nothing but to discuss the details.

It might be something entirely different
which i happened to have forgotten
because i forget things when i’m with you…
and it doesn’t even make me angry.

Perhaps it is because i never have to think about it.

I’d rather not tell you why, though,
because i fear the words
will make it less
or more,
and i think love
deserves to be left alone.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

today was a beautiful day.

my old friend & i made up(the one whom the letter was written to in my last post).

i was acting in a friend's short film in rittenhouse square today when i saw gerard butler today and i told him i loved him and he waved and smiled at me. i can't believe i made eye contact with gerard butler. he's even more gorgeous in person, by the way.

i'm sorta seeing someone but i'm not sure if i like him. i'm more of a man than he is, i think. what sucks is that i have a strong personality, but the guys that are usually attracted to me don't & prefer me to be in seems like it should work (simple role reversal, really), but in reality i want someone who knows how to be strong enough with me to overpower me. i want to be fragile sometimes, dammit!

i don't know if i believe in love at first sight, but i met someone really amazing today and something just drew me to him and i can't explain it but i feel like were he not nearly 8 years older than me, we would be on a date as i write this. i think i want to write to him and say something like "here is my number. call it in two years." i wonder if he'd like that. i bet he'd appreciate that i was mature enough to know i'm not mature enough to be seeing him.

the weather was so perfect today i wish it would stay liek this forever. it made me unbelievably happy and i just felt so free and full of life. so please good weather, come back soon, for without you i am a mess.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

happiness & frank o'hara.

i'm happy. and it feels strange. but good, of course.
appareetly i'm good at writing letters. especially apology letters. which is weird, but i guess it's a good skill to have. so, i broke off a friendship last year, and i miss it now. so here's the letter i wrote to the person just now. my attempt to make amends:

hey ----.
it's me....
i know. i suck. but things were shittier then.
i hope you're doing well. i mean that, too.
did you apply to kenyon? are you still writing? please send me something if you are. i'd love to see it. if you're not writing i am mentally smacking you, because you have tons of talent and i hope you're not letting it go to waste.
i just realized how much i missed being friends with you, because life was so hectic for a while and now it slowed down and i was able to sort things out.
i'm sorry. i really really am. i was cruel, i know that. it was just hard for me to take much of anything from anyone. but i've reached a balance and i hope we can be ok.
write back.
love, soph.

also, everyone should watch this. it's one of my all-time favorite poems:

Sunday, March 1, 2009

i'm not sure what was going on but it looks like good memory, doesn't it? (CTY princeton '07)